The Perfect Scam
Show broadcast on 24 October 2015
After a heavy Thursday night, Elis tries his best to piece back together the 'lost' hours of Friday morning, with the help of the listeners. Elsewhere within this audible treat, both John and Elis enlighten the nation with some of the more bizarre 'street' names for marijuana. PLUS, the debate of dodgy scams took a turn for the illegal, as John revealed one of his own, which he insists would get him straight into heaven. All the usual features are here as well (Textual Healing, Winner Plays On, Humble Brag of the Week), so get stuck in!
Some weight loss tips from Elis and John. As well as diet, don't forget exercise - "Shock your bod!"
A listener has contacted the show concerned about a by-product of the new email craze - emails from strangers offering willy pills.
John's introduction of Elis
"To my left is owner-operator of Pride Valley Cottages, the most highly rated holiday homes in Aberfan according to Trip Advisor. "
Conversations and riffs
The duo did a live reading of John's autobiography 'A Robins Among The Pigeons' during the week and Elis did not keep it session, resulting in him not remembering where he went afterwards or how he got home. He woke up the next morning to find he had taken off a different item of clothing in each room of his house.
Producer Dave hands John a piece of paper to read out, which sounds like it might contain some mildly xenophobic fears but John decides to do a Chris Moyles promo instead.
John went to a bizarre gig by the Grandmothers of Invention (made up of original members of Frank Zappa's band, the Mothers of Invention).
A listener has done some calculations that suggest otherwise but John can confirm that he is not in the top tax bracket (yet).
Listeners text and tweet during the show on this week's topic.
When have you been scammed in a really impressive way?
A listener calls the show with a problem.
Jasmine's neighbour smokes very strong-smelling 'jazz cigarettes'.
More examples of that scourge of social media, the humblebrag.
The nanny called to let you know that one of your Porsches is leaking fuel on the driveway. John reads out a social media post about working out that contains the most hashtags ever.
Winner Plays On
Elis and John face off in the weekly quiz on topics of their choice.
Ayrton Senna (John) v Kenny Dalglish (Elis). Tied 3-3. The tiebreaker is: how much money do supermarkets lose per year due to theft? John wins.